How to deal with a “step back ” ? – Comment gérer “le pas en arrière”? – Come fare col “passo indietro” ?

Referring to my latest post about freedom and accepting deeply yourself how do you manage with going back to old habits and old behaviors?
I can be a bit (a lot !) rigid toward myself even if I’m working on it.
Actually until not so long ago I didn’t even realize that I did so.
Few years ago I have read somewhere how important are the words and tone we used with children, how every word that for us means nothing for
them can means business and strikes them deeply.
Actually it’s true for everybody not just children, but of course they’re more vulnerable.
Still, it toke me some time to really understand that the tone I used with my children (which is far to be the ideal all the time!)
is the I used toward myself.
Good to know.
Still some time goes past and I think I’m moving forward, but then there are moment where I find myself still in the bad old habits
Once again I tend to be very hard with myself, discouraged , thinking that I actually didn’t change anything at all
But, is that really true ? Or it’s just the way it is.
Or being patient even when I’m on a setback means that I’m actually setting my self free for good ?
Someone said that life is one step forward and two on the side… 😉

 ****************************************************************************************************************************************

En référence à mon dernier article sur la liberté et le fait de s’accepter vraiment comment gérez-vous le fait de retomber dans les vieilles habitudes et les vieux comportements?
Je peux être un peu (beaucoup) rigide envers moi même si je travaille dessus.
En fait, jusqu’à il n’y a pas si longtemps, je ne me rendais même pas compte que je l’étais.
Il y a quelques années, j’ai lu quelque part à quel point les mots et le ton que nous utilisions avec les enfants étaient importants, comment chaque mot qui pour nous c’était “rien” pouvait se révéler lourd pour eux au point de rester gravé dans leur esprit.
Bon, en fait, c’est vrai pour tout le monde, pas seulement pour les enfants, mais bien sûr eux , ils sont plus vulnérables.
Pourtant, il m’a fallut bien du temps pour vraiment comprendre que le ton que j’ai utilisé avec mes enfants (qui est bien loin d’être l’idéal tout le temps)
est celui que j’ utilise aussi envers moi-même.
Bon à savoir.
Le temps passe et j’aime penser que j’avance dans ma voie mais il y a des moments où je me retrouve toujours dans les mauvaises vieilles habitudes
Une fois de plus, j’ai tendance à être très dure avec moi-même, découragée, jusq’à penser que je n’ai rien changé du tout
Mais, est-ce vraiment vrai? Ou réussir à être patient, même si je fais un pas en arrière, signifie que je me libère réellement pour de bon?
Quelqu’un a dit que la vie est un pas en avant et deux sur le côté … 😉

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Riferendomi all’ultimo articolo sulla libertà e il fatto di accetarsi veramente, come gestite il fatto di ricadere nelle vecchie abitudini e
nei vecchi comportamenti ?
Personalmente posso essere un po’ (molto !) rigida verso me stessa, anche se ci lavoro!
Fino a non molto tempo fa manco me ne rendevo conto.
Qualche anno fa ho letto da qualche parte a che punto le parole e il tono che usiamo possano avere un peso sui nostri figli.
Parole che noi pronunciamo senza pensarci possono incidersi nella loro memoria e lasciare segni profondi.
In realtà é vero anche per gli adulti, ma certo i bambini sarebbero più vulnerabili.

Eppure mi ci é voluto del tempo per rendermi conto che il tono che usavo con i miei figli (per niente ideale alle volte!)
é lo stesso che uso con me stessa .
Buono a sapersi.
Il tempo passa e mi piace pensare che vado avanti per la mia strada, che seguo il mio percorso.
Poi ci sono appunto i momenti in cui ricado nelle vecchie abitudini, e ancora una volta tendo ad essere
molto dura con me stessa, scoraggiata, fino a pensare che non ho cambiato nulla fino ad ora.
Ma é proprio cosi ? O riuscire ad essere pazienti anche se faccio un passo indietro, significa anche questo liberarmi per davvero ?
Qualcuno ha detto che la vita é un passo avanti e due di lato… 😉

One thought on “How to deal with a “step back ” ? – Comment gérer “le pas en arrière”? – Come fare col “passo indietro” ?

  1. Angela

    I think you’re absolutely right Gioia!! I’ve been told lately by many people that these feelings are natural. I get them too and I’m not even a mother! I don’t get them as often as you as far as children go but if you take how you feel about children and turn it around to the way one may feel about the general public, you’ve got me. Communication has always been a issue for me. I communicate better online or actually on-stage then in person. Somewhere I can’t actually see the person that I’m talking to face to face. You’ve really gotten deep lately Gioia! Anyway, love your posts, etc. as always!!! I would say that I miss your ACEOs, but if I turn to my right Half in day, half in night and facing your fears are each there! Daily reminders of the wonderful little treasures I have collected from you. I also have to admit that I absolutely loved seeing you grow in your art. It always was so astounding. 🙂 Did I introduce you to Lucia Stewart? She’s REALLY AWESOME. Plus there’s Lisa Luree who is another artist that I should introduce you too! You’re just the main one who stayed with the mother theme, which I personally think is wonderful. If a person is a mother, they will be able to understand and even some who aren’t mothers can understand what it may be like. Anyway, love it!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *